~hollivay

Holly

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I hate my life.

Sat Mar 1, 2008, 9:54 PM

I know this is a total cliche-ish type remark and totally teenage angsty but my life sucks.

My dad is dying. I can't do a thing about it. I see his pain, I hear it in his voice, I see it in his every move. And I can't do a damn thing about it.

I'm overweight and a loser. That's one hell of a combination.

I have no life.

The only thing I'm good at is school. And writing. Where is that going to get me?

Especially when I won't have enough money to attend a college I actually want to go to because my family has no money.

I hate myself so much. I can't stand the sight of myself. And I want so much for something and I don't even know what the fuck it is I want.

Someone rescue me from my life.

15 Comments

Mood: Tearful
Listening to: The silence.
Reading: A book.
Watching: My computer screen.
Playing: Nothing.
Eating: Nothing.
Drinking: Nothing.

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~alex-and-Ra Mar 2, 2008, 6:23:10 AM

Holly…, you are so young... I won’t try to persuade you to anything – I know that it won’t help you. But believe me – things are changing, you have to hold onto this. It’s very good that you write about your feelings, I hope you also have somebody to talk to… I know what is like to think „I’m a loser” and „I can't stand the sight of myself”, and I know how important this things are when you are a teenager… But think…there are so many beautiful things and sounds that can escape your attention if you will concentrate on those stuff on which you just can’t exert an influence! If you can – come on and do it. But if you can’t – don’t crucify yourself. Peace.

--
* take a look at your life
you kneel before your heroes
you're nothing 'till the weekend *

~hollivay Mar 2, 2008, 8:24:15 AM

I'm not suicidal. I'm just really unhappy with my life. I do have someone to talk to and that's my friends. They are always there for me when I need it. I just needed to vent a little. But thanks for caring, that means a lot to me.

~PrincessBojangles Mar 2, 2008, 10:04:20 AM

Holly.....
You piss me off.
Your are not overweight or a loser
Look at all your friends who care about you.
Stop looking at the downfalls that happen in your life and look at the good things in life not the crappy things
Holly, we shall have a talk at school on Monday about this You hear me!
Love ya!